Friday, August 11, 2006

Bush Administration, Not Terrorists, May Soon Wipe Out the NSA

Amaze your friends: convince them you know secret intelligence. Email your friends and predict that a catastrophic event will soon wipe out the National Security Agency (NSA). They will be impressed shortly after it happens and you can tell them how strong your psychic powers are.

Your friends will be quivering: they will be receiving an email telling them that the NSA is about to me wiped out. Quick, they had better inform the proper authorities. Obviously the person who sent such an email is either a terrorist or a quack.

OK, we all already know you’re a quack. But, here is how you can know the NSA is about to be wiped out.

Much as, while we were concerned that terrorists would blow up the oil pipeline, it turns out the real problem was not terrorists, but our negligence, our own negligence is about to wipe out the NSA. It seems they are about to overload their demand for electricity and they have been unable to respond to the problem. NSA officials are predicting that a total electrical shutdown of NSA—the group that is supposed to be monitoring terrorists and military enemies—will occur anywhere from the next two months to two years.

So, if you are a terrorist reading this, don’t bother trying to figure out how to take out the NSA. They’ll be taking themselves out shortly, all due to their own negligence and inability to repair things. Apparently the Bush Administration hasn’t yet learned how to “git r done”.


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